Rich-ity Mac-Rich-ster

I just got paid 2 days ago so i’m feeling pretty damn rich. Well, that is until I have to pay my credit card statement which will then render me penniless yet again, but that is not due until next week, so in the meantime, I will bask in my delusional wealth. And oh how i will bask.

I will start by leaning far back in my chair with my hands behind my head and putting my loafered feet on my desk. Rich people on TV always do that. It seems like fun. As I’m in this reclined position, I amuse myself with all the things I can procure with my moolah.

Perhaps I will finally buy the bubble-wrap toy that I’ve been having my eye on for the last little while. Called Puchi Puchi, it is “almost guaranteed to be the most realistic bubble wrap toy on the market”. Hmm..the “almost” part seems kind of suspect and of course, nothing beats the real deal, but it rewards every 100 pops with a sound effect including but not limited to “door chime”, “barking dog”, “fart”, and “sexy voice”.

Sold!

the considerate ranter

I promised my friends at dinner that I’d start my blogging adventures as of today, after i’ve spent the day getting reassurance from a couple of people that they’d read it, from time to time, once in a while, maybe. Hey, that’s good enough for me as blogging is really just adding another facet to my various methods of ranting actually my only method which usually involves me going down the contact list in my phone and being like hey what’s up, how’s life, now i shall rant for 3 hours straight about things like email ettiquette or the pros and cons of crispy pizza crust. And that has pretty much left me with like 2 friends, so as a gesture of courtesy, i will take my ranting into the digital age, and put it inconspiciously on the web so that people may now access my rant at leisure, in their pjs, perhaps with a glass of wine, and once they decide they’ve had enough, they may close or minimize their web broswer and resume when the mood strikes them again. Now i call that courtesy, a truly considerate ranter. I suppose that kind of makes up for the fact that i’ve spent the past 3 years making fun of blogging or bloggers and being like wtf, who sits at a computer and types shit that no one cares about. I don’t even know you, and frankly, you kind of suck. Kind of like when people first started getting IPods and i was there with my tape cassette and i was like tapes are awesome, i’m awesome, what the heck is an ipod and why would anyone want this expensive, dumb-looking thing. Well, now here i am writing stuff that no one will probably ever read including my 2 friends, who will maybe skim it and then denounce me as their friend and i will be officially friend-less, and no one will ever call me again which may be a good thing because then my phone bill will be really cheap, which reminds me i need to pay my phone bill like tomorrow. And, i have an ipod like the 1.6 billion other people on this planet. So the moral of the story is, never make fun of people again. Who am i kidding, always make fun of people, and sometimes, maybe yourself.